The term Alternative Lifestyle is basically a blanket term that’s applied to practices that are different from what mainstream society considers the norm. It covers anything from spiritual practices to sexual kinks and fetishes. There are a lot of misconceptions and even fears about ways of living that are different. Mostly these are caused by a lack of information. We’re going to change that.
We have been busy creating a library of first hand information about alternative lifestyles, BDSM, kinks and fetishes. Please look through the site to learn more. A great starting point might be our kinks where you can read descriptions of kinks and fetishes as told by our very own kinksters. While you’re at it, how about writing a description for us to share your kinky side with the world, in the interest of education. If BDSM erotica or kink stories are your thing we think you’ll enjoy our kinky bedtime stories by Mistress Morrigan.
People who live an alternative lifestyle often gravitate to other people with similar interests and develop a sense of community. They are there to support each other and to share knowledge and information. Having a community to fall back on takes away a lot of the stigma associated with living an alternative lifestyle. Being open minded sort of comes with the territory. Plus it makes it easier to find someone who shares your particular kink.
So what is a kink? What’s a fetish? They’re anything and everything that gives a person sexual gratification but there is a difference between the two. A kink is basically something sexual we do for fun, but it’s not what gets us off all the time. If you want to add a little spice to your relationship by pretending to pick each other up in a bar for a one night stand, that’s a fun bit of kink but you don’t have to do it to enjoy sex.
At the other end of the spectrum, if you really need your partner to dominate you, tell you exactly what to do to please them, you probably have a sexual fetish. You can have sex without it, but it’s just not quite as enjoyable. There are plenty of non-sexual fetishes as well. It’s not uncommon to hear someone say that they have a shoe fetish, which means they really, really like to buy shoes or wear shoes or look at other people wearing shoes…which in turn can become a sexual fetish.
In most cases, however, when an alternative lifestyle is talked about it’s usually meant in a sexual way. Take the BDSM lifestyle, for instance…Bondage, Dominance/submission, Sadism/masochism covers a whole spectrum of practices that are considered kinky by mainstream society. There are layers upon layers and overlapping layers. Not all are sexual, but that all depends on the individual.
Bondage can be as simple as liking to have your wrists tied together or as complicated an art form as suspension rope bondage. Do you like to light your lover’s fire? Some do it literally with fire play. Having melted wax dribbled on their bodies can be a real turn on for some, while others find pleasure in giving or receiving spankings and even more extreme pain inducing activities. You can have swingers who enjoy partner swapping and group sex, or you can have a submissive that lives only to serve one Master. Those who are seriously into the BDSM lifestyle will usually have a nice little kit full of dungeon essentials. It may include but definitely won’t be limited to ropes, blindfolds, handcuffs, floggers, whips, canes, different sex toys and even nipple clamps. We even have DIY instructions so you can create your own custom dungeon additions.
There are some who keep their fetish strictly for playtime in the bedroom. Others live a 24/7 power exchange. There are as many different combinations of lifestyles as there are people who live them. You won’t know just by looking at someone what their particular kink may be most of the time. The man riding on the bus next to you may have a fetish for women in stockings and high heels. That homemaker in line at the grocery store may be highly skilled with a flogger.
The thing to remember is that there’s nothing wrong with having some kink in your life. There’s no reason to be ashamed of having a fetish. Sexuality in all of its forms is as natural as breathing.
There are also alternative lifestyles that don’t revolve around sex. Body modification can be a lifestyle, so can tattooing. These aren’t just decorations of the body, but art forms that practitioners build a life around. It’s the work they do, the passion they enjoy, the way they find of expressing to the world just who they are. Many genre of music; grunge, rock-a-billy, metal, and punk to name just a few, have inspired lifestyles for entire generations.
For many just everyday life is considered alternative because they may be gay or lesbian or transgender or bi-sexual. In a way even living a mainstream heterosexual is an alternative lifestyle if you think about it. It’s just one alternative among many.